Disclaimer: This stunning piece was Photoshopped entirely by Dan. Didima would sooner die.
Though young, my opinion commands attention. My palate is unquestionable. My sensibilities, imitated. In matters of taste, my brain legislates and my mouth pronounces edicts. People look first to me when they want to know what's proper, what's en vogue, what captures the zeitgeist and what truly represents our generation's esprit de corps.
Why, you must wonder, is my stature so great? Why, when men look to me, do they invariably look up? Or perhaps you will have guessed it already:
I am an art buyer.
Yes. I determine value for that which is priceless. I am the world's unerring compass. And to those of you who doubt my claim (heathens!), just ask the Highland Bakery in Atlanta: their cash register drawer is now $40 heavier thanks to my foray into the elite art-buying world. I have acquired one unit of art—a magnificent etching print, number 41 in an ultra-limited run of 1000!—and now all who seek sound guidance would do well to lend me their ears.
"So then, art buyer, what profound teachings do you have for us today?" you ask.
My advice to you is simple: emulate me.
You see, buying art proves your good taste and worth. It brings you to a higher level. It establishes your position in the upper echelon of influential society.
And what's true for art, is true for art directors.
The model of nearly all art director buyers (i.e. ad agencies) is to wait for a pressing need before hiring. They let the market forces push them onto their back foot before they're spurred to action. They wait until work overwhelms them, until they absolutely need another body in the creative department, before going out and acquiring an art director.
Do not be like them. This is a reactive model, and places the emphasis on timing over talent: the exact opposite of what characterizes the preeminent! Nay, be like the art buyer: ahead of the curve, confident in your judgement.
The best art director buyer sees talent, and swoops for it! They know that their agency success hinges on their quality of work. So when they see somebody who can likewise produce the best quality work, they seek to acquire that somebody. Having the talent means they're able to win more work, and execute it better. Hence, they invest in themselves.
People with good taste buy art (directors). You should strive to be like me: at the forefront, setting the bar, proactive in the market.
Of course, it's just my opinion. The opinion of an art buyer.
