by Dídima and Dan
Welcome to The Holiday Bonus. People tend to view visas as a bit of a hassle, but they don't read the fine print on the forms. If they did, they'd see that hiring somebody from another culture (let's say, Spain, if we had throw one out there randomly) actually entitles them to many tangible benefits. Chief among them: acquiring holidays.
Besides getting that awesome person to work for you, you also get the rights to their nation's holidays. And that can only mean one thing: holiday parties.
For this edition of The Holiday Bonus, we'll explore Spain's take on celebrating Jesus: Wizard Kings Day.
Let's start with the basics. El Dia de los Reyes Magos (Wizard Kings Day) is celebrated January 6th. It marks the occasion that the three Magi brought some presents to Lil' J in the manger. (Magi is probably a way more appropriate translation of 'Reyes Magos', but Wizard Kings is what Dídima says, and you have to admit it sounds 400% cooler.) Since the Magi were the most famous gift-givers, Spaniards in kind give gifts to each other for the holiday. Just like Christmas here, the tradition is that the Wizard Kings bring everybody presents overnight, and it's good form to leave them turrones (holiday sweets) to eat and milk for their camels. (Dídima's parents also left them some liquor. This makes sense when you think about who eats the cookies you left for Santa as a kid.) So basically, it's like how Christmas runs here, except our version is a fat man that lands flying reindeer on your roof and then trespasses his way down your chimney. Both are sort of creepy but at least you can figure out the origins of the Wizard King traditions.
So now the important question: How can we turn this into an office party?
The Costumes
You'll need 3 people to dress as the Wizard Kings themselves. They wear sweet robes, fanciful crowns, jewelry, etc. They're kings. These guys are the life of the party. In Spain, they have parades where the Wizard Kings and their entourages throw candy to the crowd. Basically you're a desert pimp slangin' Butterfingers to your people. Here's an actual parade King for reference:
Now, each Wizard King has their entourage too, so if you want, you can divide the office into allegiances for Baltasar (Balthasar), Melchor (Melchior) and Gaspar (Caspar/Gaspar/whatever). Here are the important parts of the entourage that you could dress as: soldiers, horses, camels, musicians (especially drummers), and, if you have a good insurance plan, fire slingers. Remember the whole birthplace-of-Christianity aesthetic, aka Holy Land circa 1 AD.
The Libations
There aren't really any specific drinks associated with this holiday, but seeing as it's a holiday, cava is always a good choice.
The Food
Roscón de Reyes.
It's sort of a pastry wheel with prizes baked inside. They don't really make them here, so just jam some trinkets into a cake and you're good to go. You can add a gambling element by having a certain prize in there that, for whoever finds it in their piece of cake, grants the "good" luck of getting to organize the party next year.
The Activities
Gift exchange: Optional, but a good way to recycle everything from the Christmas party gift exchange.
Throwing Candy: A Good Wizard king throws more sweet stuff than Roger Clemens during his best steroids years.
Music: Entourage musicians can improvise drums or other cheap instruments, but other than that Christmas music is still in fashion.
Holiday Bonus Bonus
Wizard Kings Day is the day after The King of Spain's birthday, so one of your principles could dress up as Juan Carlos I. He doesn't sling candy, but he does get a crown.
So that's Wizard Kings Day. Sounds pretty cool, right? That's just one sweet Spanish holiday you could be celebrating. If you're looking for talent, start thinking about how good you might look in some golden robes, tossing lollipops at people while a camel serves you cava.
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