VIS-A-VISA

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THE HOLIDAY BONUS: DÍA DE ASTURIAS

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by multicultural festivity enthusiasts Dan and Dídima

Welcome back to The Holiday Bonus: The feature where we show you the best part of adding another cultural perspective to your creative team. Namely, turning their holidays into office parties. (Check out the previous features on Wizards Kings Day and San Agustín.) Up today: Día de Asturias!

Asturias is the one that's comfortably far from France, but uncomfortably close to Portugal. Also, it's yellow.

Asturias, Dídima's homeland, is a region in the Northern coastal part of Spain. Because regions in Spain have pretty distinct identities, the Spanish people all love being from their neck of the woods just as much as they love being Spanish--probably more even. It would be like if America was made up of all Texases. (I'll pause while you shudder.) Obviously this has some downsides (like the fact that Barcelona insists on speaking their region's crappy step-child version of Spanish, Catalan), but not for you, American employer! Oh no, for you this is pure upside: adding Dídima to a team not only means you can celebrate Spanish holidays, but Asturian holidays too! Let's break down their big day, and ask that question for the ages:

How can we turn this into an office party?

First some quick background. Asturias Day, September 8, is focused on celebrating traditional Asturian stuff. It's a place of forests, mountains, the sea, dairy farms, and sidra (apple cider). I guess what I'm trying to convey in a nice way is that it's sort of country. There are definitely some good-sized cities (Oviedo, Gijon), but if you're going to celebrate tradition, you're going to focus on stuff like music, meals, old school carnival games, and getting totally shit-faced. Now, most of this you won't easily replicate in your office. I mean, do you know somebody who plays bagpipes or somebody who makes a mean tortilla patata or somebody who works leather or blows glass? (Yeah? Well get off the internet and hang out with that person.) But the real key to Día de Asturias is pride. To make a successful party, you gotta go all in and pretend you're an artisan cheese maker slash lumberjack who can pour sidra with the best of them. Nay, not pretend--believe. You must become an artisan cheese maker slash lumberjack who can pour sidra with the best of them!

The Costumes
Traditional Asturian dress, please. That means this:



Wear your costume with pride! Dance! Be merry!

The Libations
Okay, time for a crash course in sidra. Sidra is a carbonated alcoholic beverage derived from apples. It's kind of a big deal in Asturias. They seriously have places dedicated to serving it. Which in itself is a very specific practice. Here's a dude showing the proper way to pour:

Avoid looking directly into the eyes.

And here's me fucking it up:

Fig A: Stupid American.

A pro sidra pourer takes your glass and puts the sidra bottle as high as possible over his head, pouring directly down into the tilted vessel. Traditionally everybody at the table shares the same cup, so you drink the whole thing in one gulp (only like an inch of the cup is filled), then get the pro server to refill for your friend's turn.

Here's me showing the proper way to drink:

Any Asturias Day depends on sidra. There's no greater measure of pride than drinking for your country! (/Your autonomous region within your country!) Obviously the US doesn't make sidra proper, but you can always amass some six packs of Strongbow or Woodchuck Draft Cider. I can't say it's really the same thing, but it is related, and it will get you, ahem, inebriated.

The Food
Asturians are proud of their cheese, cured meats, jams, bread, and deserts. You should eat all those things. But if you're going to do this celebration with pride, you have to eat Fabada Asturiana. It's just their thing. Here's a recipe for the culinarily inclined. It takes some time and skill though. Nobody said pride was easy. (Just ask Ricky Martin.)

The Activities
You watched the costume video, right? Do that. It's easier after you practice the sidra ritual a couple times. Remember that Asturias Day oftentimes takes the form of a festival/carnival-like atmosphere, so here's what else to do:

Bottle fishing game with your empties:

Winner gets to pour.

Woodland games (optional. See this.)

Singing! If I had to describe Asturias in a song, I wouldn't, because it's already been done for me: I promise this is worth your time.

But let's keep it traditional. Presenting, Asturias patria querida (their anthem):

Asturias, Patria querida, Asturias, de mis amores,
Asturias, my beloved homeland, Asturias, of my loves,

İQuién estuviera en Asturias en todas las ocasiones!
Lucky he who could be in Asturias all the time!

Tengo de subir al árbol, tengo de coger la flor,
I have to climb the tree, I have to pick the flower

y dársela a mi morena que la ponga en el balcón,
and give it to my brunette so she puts it on her balcony,

Que la ponga en el balcón, que la deje de poner,
May she put it on her balcony, let her put it there,

tengo de subir al árbol y la flor he de coger.
I have to climb the tree and I have to pick the flower.


(100% serious.)